I am the Fourth Candle

“It’s not gonna make it!” I worry every year about that first purple candle on the advent wreath. The first week, a pep talk. “It’s gonna be a long four weeks, friend. And you’re not gonna like it. But this year, you can do this.” Week two comes around and that dollar store candle is definitely less than half way gone. How in the world is it going to make it two more weeks? Two more weeks!? This stinks! By week three I light the wreath and wonder what be the chances of that first flame licking a branch of the by now completely crunchy pine needles in the wreath? (And then write a note to get us a fire extinguisher because without one in this old farmhouse we are really living dangerously.)

As for me, I’m really more like the last purple candle. Get in there last minute and give it your all for like a hot second. Less work for equal glory? I’m in! Or maybe like the rose candle, all joyful and pink. I mean, who doesn’t like fun time pink candle? But this year I was determined to make an effort towards that first candle, bearing that long wait for all four weeks and offering up some sacrifices here and there.

Advent is the season of wait. A time to tidy up our messy souls all comfy cozy for the Savior to come and rest. And so this advent, I made it a point to unplug. I ditched most of the social media apps from my phone and limited screen time in attempts to savor some good old fashion reality. Just staring at the falling snow like a crazy person or trying to appreciate the stillness of our little apartment in the morning. It was surprisingly and unfortunately really difficult to do most times. It’s become hard just to be still. We also tried to spend more time in prayer together as a couple. We rolled those beads in the light of the wreath praying for our future children. Uniting our wait for a house filled with oh, say, a half dozen or so little ones, with the wait for Christ. We also waited to decorate our Christmas tree (if you can call a two foot tall jumble of artificial branches a tree) until today. Christmas cookies stayed in the freezer. Our Frank and Bing albums would have to wait, too. It was time to suffer savor the wait throughout advent to totally rejoice throughout the coming 12 days of Christmas.

And so it’s Christmas Eve. And by now I am that sad puddle of purple dye and artificial wax globbed on some old, charred pine that used to be the first week’s candle. It’s not easy to shed light on your weaknesses, it’s not easy to sacrifice, it’s not easy to wait- but it is totally worth it. Because He makes all things new. And now this hot waxy mess is ready to celebrate!

Make your house fair as you are able, trim the hearth and set the table.

People, look East and sing today:

Love, the Lord, is on the way!

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